To whoever thought that it was a good idea
to name 'goodbye'
I know you are an optimist. Because who
else has such an icky sense of humor? Lets just focus on the 'I wish good for
you' part. And ignore the hearwrenchingly horrible part. Shall we? No. I am not
sorry that I differ from your ideals.
Because I am a realist. <also I have
legions of dragons at times> I want to ask you how is it a goodbye when your
friend of four years leaves and whenever you think about it, an impending sense
of doom throttles you? Remind you, the actual doom hasn't even begun to knock
at the door yet, leave the settling in part far behind. Also there are endless
unanswered questions booming through the rational part of your mind. Will we really see each other again? And even
if we do miraculously meet, as said after two years, will he be the same? Will
he still be my friend that called me up and asked for specific reasons when I
texted him "I miss you" and then further explained his theory about
"How could I miss him? It is only a semester break." and then at last
said "I do not miss you." Further, will I be the same? Will our
friendship survive? Will I be able to tell him that "I still love you in
my twisted, convoluted sort of way" again and trust him to understand what
I mean by that. Yes, there are lots of resounding 'if's in the answers. Yes, it
is excruciatingly painful. And obviously I wish good for him. Maybe a better
idea would be just "Bye"? But then that does rhyme with "I hope
you die" And rhymes are everything. Why else do you think the world moves
in a rhythm?
A note to my friend:
Yes, I am terrified of the future, what it
will do to you, to me and to us. As you said, "There's Viber,Skype and
stuff" But don't you understand that I wouldn't let anyone else tell me in
my face that "I have anger management issues" ? <A punch in the
face would take care of that> But don't you understand that what we have is
doomed to become what we had, only the duration of time is a variable, all
other conditions are static and kind of predefined. Don't you understand that I
would never let you see me cry in Skype and vice versa? Don't you understand
that? But hey, it doesn't mean that I am not going to try.
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