Wednesday, April 22, 2015

To two mutually exclusive persons:

To whoever thought that it was a good idea to name 'goodbye'

I know you are an optimist. Because who else has such an icky sense of humor? Lets just focus on the 'I wish good for you' part. And ignore the hearwrenchingly horrible part. Shall we? No. I am not sorry that I differ from your ideals. 

Because I am a realist. <also I have legions of dragons at times> I want to ask you how is it a goodbye when your friend of four years leaves and whenever you think about it, an impending sense of doom throttles you? Remind you, the actual doom hasn't even begun to knock at the door yet, leave the settling in part far behind. Also there are endless unanswered questions booming through the rational part of your mind.  Will we really see each other again? And even if we do miraculously meet, as said after two years, will he be the same? Will he still be my friend that called me up and asked for specific reasons when I texted him "I miss you" and then further explained his theory about "How could I miss him? It is only a semester break." and then at last said "I do not miss you." Further, will I be the same? Will our friendship survive? Will I be able to tell him that "I still love you in my twisted, convoluted sort of way" again and trust him to understand what I mean by that. Yes, there are lots of resounding 'if's in the answers. Yes, it is excruciatingly painful. And obviously I wish good for him. Maybe a better idea would be just "Bye"? But then that does rhyme with "I hope you die" And rhymes are everything. Why else do you think the world moves in a rhythm?

A note to my friend:

Yes, I am terrified of the future, what it will do to you, to me and to us. As you said, "There's Viber,Skype and stuff" But don't you understand that I wouldn't let anyone else tell me in my face that "I have anger management issues" ? <A punch in the face would take care of that> But don't you understand that what we have is doomed to become what we had, only the duration of time is a variable, all other conditions are static and kind of predefined. Don't you understand that I would never let you see me cry in Skype and vice versa? Don't you understand that? But hey, it doesn't mean that I am not going to try.