Thursday, May 14, 2015

Why I “hate” it when they make movies out of my favorite books?

I know I am stereotyping every movie made from books here. That is forthright wrong. Because a few of such movies are exceptionally good. Some movies I wouldn’t have known there were books preceding before it had they not shown the ‘Adapted from_ _ _’ in the rolling credits. Also, some movies have such wonderful cinematography that you almost equally love the book and movie. . . blah blah . .

And the biggest BUT of them all(which my brother pointed out to me quite pointedly one day when I made the grave mistake of saying out aloud, “But the movie ain’t even half good as the book” in my grumbling tone) is “Books and movies should not be compared simply because they are different genres.”

Even after this, I am geared to write this article. I clearly discard evident logic. If you agree with this conclusion, then I suggest you stop reading the article and carry on with whatever it is that you do. STOP here.

I see you decided not to stop. I am writing this article in spite of  the evident logic simply because I feel this way. Feelings don’t grasp logic. And no matter, how hard you try, you can’t unfeel a feeling. Believe me, I tried.

There is no other feeling that I so strongly feel other than “hate” and its synonyms when I hear they are making a movie based on another of my favorite books. I still have not forgiven Daniel Radcliffe for destroying my mind image of Harry Potter. I had a crush on HP, not Daniel.  Every time I try to picture my crush, Daniel steps over his crumpled image. That is heinous, not letting a girl picture her crush.

This being the sad story of how I got over my HP crush, I have desperately tried to not let other character crushes evaporate, but in vain. Hermoine lost herself to Emma Watson. Gandalf to Sir Ian McKellen. Willy Woka to Johnny Depp. Katniss to Jennifer Lawrence. … ‘Tis a heart rending massacre.

I tried desperately, but the imposters are everywhere, on every fandom page in Facebook, grinning and leering out of hoarding boards, stickers…anything, you name it.

And what is worse: the movie watchers. They think they know the HP I grew up with. They think they know Gandalf. They think they know Prim. And they think it is okay to say “I think HP is overhyped” or “LOTR is soooo boring.” It is sad to let them think that they know what they are talking about.

Once, actually it was on my convocation day, I was reading “The Book Thief” because I’d just started it and you know how a good book doesn’t let you put it down unless you finish it. So there I was, clad in a saree for the first time in my life, engrossed in yet another book for the umpteenth time in my life. And this girl from my batch sees me. “Whatchya reading?” I wordlessly show her the cover page so that I can keep reading. Then all of a sudden,"Oh, that one." I stop in mid sentence. I swivel my head in her direction in anticipation of a book review. She continues,"I and my friend watched that movie last night. But we couldn’t complete it on account of it being so boring. Nothing happened. It was so slow."

Fury. I wished for a moment not to have been gifted with a human mind full of neurons which are capable of processing information in less than a blink of eye. But the damage had been done, you see. I was about to retaliate with a number of appropriate responses. But the old adage “'Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.” chose that moment to dress itself in a shining armor and came to her rescue. A battle enraged within me for few moments. Then the storm clouds cleared. I sighed heavily and went back to reading the book. This is indeed a cruel world we live in. At least, the Beatles have already sung ‘Let It Be’ for moments like these.

P.S. I heard that they are going to make ‘TFIOS’ in Hindi. All I can say is: don’t you understand that Augustus wouldn’t be Augustus without his blue eyes?

P.P.S. My heart goes out to Augustus Waters and Artemis Fowl both of whom are likely to die in the immediate future.